Girls, we’ve all been there: crouched over a dirty toilet seat, legs trembling, praying to the Powers That Be that our bottoms don’t make contact with the germ-ridden seat below and that it will all be over with as soon as possible.

Well, ladies, those angst-ridden, leg-trembling days are over.

Say hello to your newest little friend, the GoGirl. This female urination device, or FUD—no, not Elmer— is made by FemMed, Inc. based in Minnetonka, Minn., and looks like an outdated form of female contraception, or a pink rubber silly snout worn by a Monty Python character.

Made from medical-grade silicon, the device is funnel-shaped and is reusable, depending on whether or not you want to put the FUD in your pocket after you’ve peed in it. (Men put their urinary device — aka MUD — back in their pocket after they’ve used it.)

It is dishwasher-safe, which is kind of gross. Call me picky, but I don’t want to eat a salad later that has an extra tangy taste when I’ve used Ranch dressing — plus putting my urinary device with my forks and knives is just not that palatable.

If you can’t wash it off, say if you’re camping or hiking, you can place the pee-soaked FUD in the handy plastic bag it comes with so you can carry it with you in your backpack. Not as gross, but you’re still carrying wee in your bag.

The GoGirl comes in a lovely shade of pink, whose color always says, “I care, I’m feminine and I can stand on my own two feet!” I suppose the whole coloring thing was a strategic operational decision: if it were blue, women users would think “penis” and become blind with confusion, or perhaps giddy with excitement.

The GoGirl tag line reads, “Don’t Take Life Sitting Down,” but should read “The Next Best Thing to a Wang.” I think it has more selling power.

It takes a bit of getting used to, the whole peeing-whilst-standing-and-holding-a-FUD, so be patient with yourselves, ladies and try it at home before you need to use it for real. Call me Pavlov, but I am so trained to only go when sitting that I had a bit of shy bladder when I first used my GoGirl — and I was all alone.

Quite common, I am told; no need to seek a therapist right away. But do seek medical attention if urination persists for more than four hours.

One thing that left me perplexed, though: How do you discreetly cleanse this thing after emerging from the dirty bathroom stall, surrounded by your fellow femmes at the sink? (“Someone left this pink funnel near the toilet, and I’ve needed one in my kitchen for ages! What luck!”)

I guess that’s where the baggie comes in handy. No doubt, your trusted FUD will make your visit to a dirty roadside stall or a Port-a-John that much cleaner and faster, and no one wants to be trapped in either of those torture chambers for more than 10 seconds. Just in-and-out, thanks…and yes, that’s what she said.

Logistically, the port-a-pee is a bit bulky to fit in a smaller-sized purse or bag, so make sure if you do carry it in a larger purse that you don’t accidentally whip this thing out instead of a pen during a board meeting. Your colleagues will gasp, and you will be fired on the spot immediately for Overt Sexual Deviance, a nefarious title that will remain on your permanent record for years, just like a bad case of the clap.

The GoGirl is definitely not for the squeamish or faint of heart. But darn if it isn’t convenient, and I’m sure it’s just the thing that the radical feminists had in mind during the late 60’s while taking their grievances to the streets, pink pee funnels raised high above their heads in wielded fists of glory: What do we want? URINAL FREEDOM! When do we want it? NOW! You go, girl.