Ever want to travel to Appalachia on a whim just like South Carolina’s Govnuh’ Sanford, but were too scared?

Fear not: “The Hills Have Thighs: An Appalachian Comedy” is in town, a hysterical, award-winning, B-grade movie, and it’s takin’ names and kickin’ tail. So, go ahead, boy—squeal like a pig.

Hailed as “The retarded love-child of John Waters and David Lynch,” this movie is an homage to toothless hillbillies, delicious Moon Pies, Skittles n’ grits, limousine Liberals and even Barack Obama. Watching it is like being nestled in the fleshy breast of Appalachia’s rolling foothills, and you know a movie about backwoods America is the real deal when the director/producer’s name is Bubba Cromer…and yes, that’s his real name.

The plot centers around the disappearance of a local hillbilly named Daniel “Boone” Owen, and his best friend, “Drip,” a sexually-confused and dysfunctional pant-wetter whose sole mission is to find Daniel Boone, come hill or high water.

Drip (played by Bubba Cromer) lives in “Pussy Heaven,” a trailer full of cats which also doubles as the local town market. Trouble ensues when Jerseytourists (“A-hole Yankee terrorists”) visit the town and stay at the local inn, the Shamrock House, run by an Obama-obsessed, elitist California Liberal named Tree Tree Davenport who collects mammy dolls and secretly talks to—and feeds— her beloved Obama figurine for support and comfort. Tree-Tree employs two lesbian “sisters” —Twinkie and Velveeta.

Things get heated when the Jersey boys smear a chocolate bar in Drip’s man-panties (manties?) and discreetly slap a “Deliveries in Rear” sign on his overalls while perusing his store. And his cat Spooky Spook soon disappears and winds up in a Chinese food take-out box. High in protein, and no MSG.

It’s in-your-face, over-the-top, cringingly unleashed exploitation of every stereotype ever imagined, but that’s what makes this movie so much fun…and funny. Bubba as “Drip” steals the show, and is awkwardly adorable in his crotch-wet overalls, sexually confused state, and political ignorance: (“How’m I ever gonna find the right woman if I wouldn’t even sleep with myself?”

“Obama…that sounds foreign. Is he in the oil business?”) The film just garnered an award for Best Southern Comedy in the Peachtree Village International Film Festival in Atlanta and will make its grand debut in the Big Apple on October 24^th at the New York International Indie Film & Video Festival.

So, do yourself a favor. Dive in these Thighs as soon as possible. You’ll be more well-rounded—at least on your bottom. Visit www.thehillshavethighs.com.

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Tags: Reviews, travel