Two passengers on the the Delta flight from Amsterdam to Detroit are being heralded as heroes for helping foil a terror attack. The pair tackled the potential martyr, held him down and doused his flaming belly.

Foolishly, the potential terrorist was on a flight to Detroit — where people have no problem smacking around fellow passengers. Terror attacks always work better on flights to the West Coast, where passengers will simply threaten the terrorists with lawsuits and hard stares. (Think we’re wrong, check out the destinations of all of the flights on 9/11, none were going to New York, New Jersey or Detroit.)

The USA is the last of the cowboy countries and many Americans know that only they can prevent terror attacks. So  after you’ve summed up the threats, perfected your techniques and boarded the plane, your safety could be up to you.

As for the two local heroes, we hope Delta upgrades them to Platinum — though the downside would be they would no longer sit in coach where the terrorists typical sit in order to save money.

Because air marshals don’t fly on international flights — foreign countries don’t want armed Americans walking around their country for some reason — it’s up to passengers to be ready to throw down the vigilante and bring the streets to the plane.

Here are a few simple tips that can help turn your flight into heroic journey.

Learn to tackle: This will help you start subduing a potentially dangerous passenger. Head down, shoulder out and don’t forget to wrap. Don’t try to arm tackle, the potential terrorist will be able to break through that pretty easily. Also, the narrow aisle may make some moves more difficult but just stay focused and give it your best shot. If you miss the tackle, it’s not like people will be able to talk about it later.

Fight like a girl: Once you’ve got your terrorist on the ground, scratch, scream and pinch as much as you possibly can. All of these girl-like moves will throw the potential terrorist off his game and you should be able to collect a lot of DNA evidence under your finger nails.

Super Fly: Brush up on WWE finishing moves, which would easily allow you to take on the likes of the Iron Sheik, the terror from Tehran. Body slams, pile drivers and sleeper holds will all come in handy. Remember the sheik’s classic move is also devastating, the Camel Clutch. Real air marshals spend months developing their WWE moves, just in case.

Vulcan death grip: It’s a classic for sure and will completely subdue your potential terrorist with a simple pinch if your plane is hijacked in a fictional TV show. Make sure to master it before attempting it on a plane. If you do it wrong, you’ll just end up massaging your terrorists neck, leaving him relaxed and refreshed.

Be prepared: Hey you never know when someone is going to pull out a shoe bomb or try to ignite their pillow in search of virgins in the afterlife. So keep an eye open for your chance to become a hero. Then stay calm during the TV interviews, the last thing people want to think is that a terror attack was foiled by a douche.

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