Nonplussed Traveler: Get rolling with some new cliches
Throughout modern times there’s always a word or phrase of the hour. For instance, at one time the buzzword word was “bailiwick,” that begat “paradigm” that begat “Duh.” 
Phrases have included “At this point in time,” “He’s a credit to his race” and the most overused phrase in history, “On advice of counsel…”
The most current phrase to achieve cliché status is “(Fill in the blank) is the new (fill in the blank)”. Even the nation’s most beloved website site, hipstertravelguide.com is guilty of this (“Black is the new white” and “Are Britons the new Americans?”). (Full disclosure: when this phrase is used by my editor it somehow sounds much more credible and universally acceptable.)
I understand the merit behind this and the first few times I heard it, it made sense because I had a basis for comparison. However, the last 16,343 times I’ve heard the same phrase my eyes have glazed over more than my wife’s do when I suggest procreation.
However, before this phrase is finally put out to pasture (by the way…where the hell is this pasture? The damn thing must be has big as Asia for all the things that have been put there.) I thought I’d use it to describe the seamy evolution the travel industry has gone through. For instance:
Southwest Airlines is the new Singapore Airlines
Hampton Inns have become the new Intercontinental Hotels
Crab cakes are the new lobster tails
37,214 Wonders of the World are the new Seven Wonders of the World
Backpacks are the new Airline Clubs
The crowd at Woodstock is the new full Coach section of a Northwest 757
The flight time from Hong Kong to New York is the new flight time from Detroit-New York
Seat pitch for domestic first-class is the new Night Coach from 1968
Domestic first-class meals are the new coach meals from 1970
Premium first-class meals on international flights are the new trans-continental first-class meals from 1965
Air rage is the new civility
Cavity searches are the new boarding passes
Snack boxes in Economy are the new bread lines
Freeway rest areas are the new Holiday Inns
Sam’s Club membership cards are the new passports
Al Vinikour is the new Mike Royko, but with more hair. His column appears here every Monday, which is the new Sunday.
Related posts:
- Nonplussed traveler: Rack rate, feel appreciated yet?
- Nonplussed traveler: The fun side of greed and canceled flights
- Nonplussed traveler: Air France becomes the Biggest Loser
- Nonplussed traveler: Stuff it, over your head and under the seat
- Nonplussed traveler: Reclining seats in coach: A pain in the lap
