The problem with Easter is everything closes. People head off to churches around the country wearing big hats and fancy new outfits bought at Target.

But what if His Holiness needed a cheap Ribeye, wanted to play craps (he is after all, a Holy Roller) or just spend some quality time with a lady friend after three nights by himself. (It’s only following the practice of giving up something for Lent — as on Easter, the 40 day wait is over and people can return to chocolate, alcohol or hookers.)

Well, The Big Man would go Vegas, home of The King, and the one place in America that always has a room at the inn and doesn’t shutter up its joint just for special treatment in heaven. Jesus has a long history of hanging out with sinners, so don’t you think Sin City would be at the top of his list?

Around the country, shops, zoos, parks and synagogues all close on the big day Jesus rolled off a stone bed and scared the Be-Him out of his friends and family.

Miracle Mile Shops at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino sent out announcement this week reminding everyone that it will stay open throughout the Holy Day — for anyone who needs a good brunch or pair of shoes. There are 170 shops, restaurants and performance venues at Miracle Mile Shops (tickets are still available to see The Naughty Boys Hypnosis Show, which starts at 9 p.m. Monday through Saturday — they are, apparently, not working this Sunday.

Tags: Las Vegas, Miracle Mile