Toot toot: It’s National Train Day

Only America would create a Train Day, everyone else just has trains.

While we first thought this was a gathering of model train experts and pedophiles, we’ve since learned that it is a fake holiday designed to create awareness that there are trains in America — terribly slow and inefficient trains on the East Coast.

The national network of trains is even worse, such as the 2 days it would take to get from Chicago to New York City. (There’s still a $336 ticket that takes 26 hours available.)

It’s kind of embarrassing, especially since we would take trains everywhere if we could. They’re much easier than flying, it could create a world without cars and you can play around on your computer instead of driving. However, the trains in the US are awful, so, we fly.

As far as contrived holidays go, National Train Day is pretty well organized. It has a spokesman, Taye Diggs — the man who helped Stella Get her Groove Back.

It has a website — NationalTrainDay.com.

It has special exhibits in Washington DC: 11 a.m. — 4 p.m. Union Station. Meet Taye Diggs and see if he can help Amtrak get its groove back. There are also displays and discount train tickets.

Philadelphia: 11 a.m. — 4 p.m. 30th Street Station: Exhibits include the History of Baseball travel on trains aka, card games on wheels. Dallas Green and Gary Mathews will also visit. (They played for the Phillies.)

Chicago: 11 a.m. — 4 p.m. Union Station: Model train displays, music by Muddy Waters son and all the sausage you can eat.

Los Angeles: 11 a.m. — 4 p.m. Union Station: The Railroad Braceros Exhibit: this shows how Americans shipped in thousands of Mexicans to work during World War II to build and maintain railroad tracks. This was done because most of the Japanese workers had all rounded up and locked up.

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