Amidst the fervor surrounding Arizona’s controversial new immigration law, former vice presidential candidate and ex-beauty queen Sarah Palin joined the national stage once again after her recent book release, vehemently denouncing President Obama’s fierce opposition to the polemic law which requires immigrants to carry their registration documents on their person at all times, thereby allowing police to question any individual’s immigration status while enforcing the law.
Palin, wearing a red, form-fitting stolen pant suit, stood beside Arizona’s Governor Jan Brewer during a press conference last week to announce her appointment to the state’s new Joint Border Security Advisory Committee and her latest venture as a Mary Kay cosmetics salesperson. “It’s time for Americans across this great country of Arizona to stand up and take back America for Americans in America, Americans,” she said, winkingly. “And Mr. President, build me a new fence. Buy one lipstick, get one free!”
Palin captured the hearts—and trousers— of the over-fifty set of golfing men addicted to Viagra and scrambled porn during the ’08 presidential campaign when her grandfather, John McCain, named her as his running mate for Vice President. During the campaign, she also garnered support from one female voter, an elderly woman named Alice who resides in a double-wide in the rural town of Goose Creek, South Carolina. “She sure done us women proud, runnin’ for office like that,” Alice said, wiping crumbs of MoonPie from her moustache with the ends of her flower-print house dress. She pointed to the “Palin 2012” bumper sticker stuck to the rusted fender of her weathered Ford pick-up. “From my truck to God’s ears,” she said.
Palin and her husband, Sasquatch, live on a remote iceberg in the frozen outskirts of Russia with a farm full of children, several pelts and a rifle named Rusty. In her spare time, Palin hunts endangered animals from her helicopter, drills for oil in the Bering Sea and reads a newspaper.
