Too often, Americans get pummeled by foreigners because we’ve got no history — at least really old, Biblical kind of history. We’re a relatively young nation; one that has never had to survive countless waves of Mongrels, Moors, plague and World Wars.
That’s not entirely true. We’ve got loads of old stuff, but Americans typically hide old things in Florida.
So come Sept. 3, even Willard Scott will have to pull out a jar of Smuckers and take a few minutes to wish St. Augustine a happy 444.
Turns out, the beautiful little city just south of Jacksonville has been around longer than any other place in America, established in 1565 by Don Pedro Menendez de Avile. Take that France.
Of course, Indians were running around the Florida coast long before Don Pedro showed up, but they were rather disorganized, had weak immune systems and needed Europeans to settle North America before they could create casinos and sell cheap cigarettes. (It’s rumored that Don Pedro settled St. Augustine after failing to find the mythical Ron Jon Surf Shop.)
The three-day celebration will honor the Indians (specifically the Timucua tribe and the Seminoles, who founded Florida State University).

St. Augustine is a truly beautiful and includes a number of art galleries and historical sites, including the Castillo de Marcos — the oldest masonry structure in the new world,  built by the Spanish (1672) — Spain, however, has older Spanish built structures.

Here’s what’s on the agenda:
Sept. 3 & 4: Celebrating Those Who Were Already Here –
Thursday, September 3 and Friday, September 4 – 9:00am – 5:00pm*
The Fountain of Youth Archeological Park. From 9
a.m.-5 p.m. on both Thursday and Friday, September 3-4.
This is a nod to the Indians, the original apathetic hipsters of the New World. They were quickly defeated when Europeans coughed on them.
A Pow Wow
Thursday, September 3 – 6:00pm – 9:00pm
Expect a lot of drum pounding.
Landing Reenactment & Celebration of Mass
Saturday, September 5th – 9:30am*
There will be cannons, wooden boats and men in tights. The reenactment should give anyone a look at what it may have looked like 444 years ago – though Spaniards never came across parking lots, nicely manicured lawns or over priced condos. A note to the actors, please remove all watches and keep your cell phones on vibrate — nothing is more embarassing than planting a flag for Spain and then having your wife call to remind you to get more milk on the way home.
16th Century Cooking Contest
Saturday, September 5th – 6:00pm – 9:00pm*
St. Augustine likes to point out it held the first Thanksgiving feast 55 years before the Pilgrims did about 1,500 miles north along I-95. Pilgrims like to point out that had they known about Florida, they probably would have bought a winter cottage down there and become the first snowbirds. 
For information on entering the contest, call 904.669.1485.