Today is the day. The World Cup finals.

Those slippery Spanish, ranked No. 1 in the world have made it despite their best efforts to lose.

And then there are the high Flying Dutchmen, kicking goals from midfield and flaunting their brilliant orange — OK, so we’re a little biased on the this one.

But Americans still do not understand the magnitude of this game so we thought we’d throw in some last minute advice for watching the game.

First — go to a bar and watch it. A big crowd is the best way to watch this game. But, we know, not everyone has easy access to a pub where soccer over rides baseball. (It should, but that’s a different story).

But what do you eat and drink: Well, no matter what you do, you’ve got to go native.

Supporting Holland?

Drink: Amstel — it’s made in Amsterdam

Smoke: Reefer — You don’t need a medical marijuana card to enjoy a little cannabis in Holland, and you can put down your parents just on a whim there too — euthanasia is legal.

Eat: Calamari — Paul the Octopsychic picked Spain to win it all the other day.

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Supporting Spain?

Drink — Sangria: It’s fun, fruity and if you add a splash of brandy to the pitcher, it’ll get you drunk really fast. Plus, it is fortified with lots of tasty vitamins.

Smoke — Cigarettes: In fact, you should chain smoke them from the opening kickoff all the way to the end of the game.

Eat: Chorizo: Yes, we know everyone was going to say paella, but that’s kind of obvious. Go with that blood red, finger staining Chorizo. It’ll help absorb all of that Sangria that you realized you can drink with a McDonald’s straw.

Most of all, enjoy the game.

And all of you Spain fans, don’t be too upset that your early 1 goal lead falters at the beginning of the second half when a long range goal outside of the box sneaks in and then the flood gates open, with Holland winning 3-1.