I would step on the neck of a baby bird for a delicious slice of cheese, a food I know will only cause bloating, gas and raised LDL levels, but, oh, Monterey Jack! Boursin! Crumbled Feta and Brie!

I am powerless over these dairy products, rendered but a helpless mouse staring down the jowls of a fierce, steely trap while facing certain death, yet whose beady eyes remain tunneled upon the morsel of tasty goodness locked within. Behold, the power of cheese.

So, when the chance arose to attend a wine flight tasting tour around Sedona, I was all in. I’m not a wine drinker, but where there is vino, there is always cheese.

The obvious didn’t hit me until I was en-route to our first stop—wineries in Sedona? I normally equate vino with Napa, of course, and the basement of my friend’s alcoholic brother, Sal, but Arizona? Sure, there’s Joe Arpaio, his pink underwear, and deadly snakes, but certainly not grapes. Tour host and wine aficionado Patti Todd informed me that this area, known as Verde Valley, is a becoming a strong contender among the vineyard greats.

“Most people don’t know about the variety of wines here,” Todd explained, “and are surprised to find such high quality wines. You’d never guess that the desert soil could yield such amazing fruit, but the grapes just thrive in this climate.”

We made three stops along the flight: Javelina Leap Vineyard & Winery, Oak Creek Vineyards & Winery, and Page Spring Cellars (where I would finally be rewarded with my cheese platter). Our first stop, JavelinaLeap was nestled at the foot of a volcanic slope and felt like an old-time saloon with saddle-seated stools situated around a circular bar; oddly, I felt a bit like Norm “Cheers”—it’s a place where everyone seems to know your name, even the stuffed javelina heads mounted above the bar. (They’re a cross between a wild boar and Robin Williams, although the boar is less hairy.) Try their Merlot and Sauvignon Blanc—very lean and floral.

Next, we made our way to Oak Creek Vineyards, an impressive winery with 4,000 plants on just 10 acres with 1500 cases of wine produced annually. At the property’s higher elevations, they grow Syrah and Merlot; the lower elevations produce the popular Zinfandels and renowned Chardonnays. The gift shop has the largest selection of wine-related merchandise inArizona, from sandals for your wine glasses to bedazzled hats, cheese boards and jewelry. Featured reds include the Syrah, Zinfandel and Merlot, but if you prefer whites, kick back on the outside patio with the stellar Fume Blanc.

Our last stop brought us to Page Springs Cellars, the brain-child of owner Eric Glomski and Tool’s Über-rocker-gone-winemaker, Maynard James Keenan. When Keenan’s not busy making tunes, he’s at Page Springs Cellars, digging in the dirt, harvesting grapes and making mad vino. He and Glomski recently produced a wry

documentary called “Blood into Wine” chronicling their ventures in bringing notoriety and credibility to the Northern Arizona winemaking region. Keenan’s passion for making fine wine is evident in his bottle of 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon, named in honor of his late mother, Judith.  As he says in the movie, “If this is what we can get out of the soil, kind of letting the soil speak for itself, then anything is possible.”

By far, Page Springs held the most charm out of all the wineries, a little piece of Tuscany hidden in the desert Southwest. We ambled our way down the pebbled drive to the hidden deck below overlooking Oak Creek for the anticipated grand finale: the cheese platter. We sat under dappled shade, raised our glasses and watched the day slip away as we ate our weight in cream cheese-slathered crackers topped with delectable chunks of dairy and the occasional grape or two. Simply perfect.

Special thanks to Patti Todd and Sedona Adventure Tours for arranging and providing transportation.