Playboy’s nudity-free website will “provide guys with smart and sexy distractions throughout the day,” or corporate speak’s translation for “I love porn but need my job.”

Featured articles include the handy yet informative “How to get laid at work,” “7 signs that you’ve given up on getting laid,” and “Americans totally dig STD-like sensations.” There’s also a welcome vid clip from Father Hefner; other notable material includes blog posts about stripper cage fighting and info on the 2010 Hooters Bikini Contest in Pelham, Alabama. Keepin’ it classy.

Playboy hopes the new website will help boost sagging breasts and profits.

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Virgin America has announced changes to its in-flight menu — after all, you should always serve what’s in season.

Virgin has released its new menu to get people who fly on other airlines mouths to water. (There’s a reason Virgin won the Best Domestic Airline for Food in Travel + Liesure 2009 Worlds’ Best Awards.)

So what’s cooking? We could go into fancy prose at this point, but instead, we’ll just show you the menu, that speaks volumes and then think about what you had to eat on your last flight.

First Class Breakfast

• Fresh baked sweet cranberry walnut bread served with sweet creamy butter.

• Fresh summer fruit with candied kumquats, pomegranate and vanilla yogurt.

• Chorizo sausage, potato and egg omelet.

• Fresh herb omelet: Farm fresh egg omelet filled with goat cheese and ratatouille of zucchini, yellow squash, fresh herbs, garlic and vine ripened tomatoes served with a tangy tomato wine sauce.

• Baked eggplant, zucchini and egg frittata.

First Class Lunch and Dinner

• Andalusian gazpacho with crostini.

• Baby beet salad with oranges and arugula.

• Pork tenderloin with a guava smear, port wine figs & saffron spaetzle, horseradish oil.

• Roasted vegetable lasagna with garlic cheese toas.

• Grilled pork charmoula with crisp eggplant with ricotta, pomegranate molasses and papaya relish.

• Roasted eggplant, tomato and artichoke tart with polenta and wild mushroom mac-n-cheese.

• Wellington of home-style meatloaf with prosciutto, wild mushrooms, panache of fresh vegetables and sauce cabernet.

• Vegetable eggplant moussaka.

• Fresh Fruit & berries with passion fruit sabayon.

• Butterscotch pudding with vanilla bourbon mascarpone.

• Redeye fruit and half sandwich: Selection of Hand cut artisan cheeses of Brie, aged white cheddar, and smoked Gouda, garnished with baby frisée  lettuce, quince, raspberries, blackberries and a delicate macaroon pastry, served with a half sandwich.

Now the main cabin (aka coach on other airlines) may not have all quite the menu, but there are still some tasty choices.

• Granola with fresh fruit and yogurt: Build your own yogurt parfait with 18 Rabbits pecan, almond, maple granola, fresh pineapple, kiwi, oranges, red seedless grapes, and strawberry and fresh fruit yogurt.

• Vegetables and Cheese.

• Pastrami sandwich with swiss on russian rye.

• Turkey, cranberry and brie.

• Grilled veggie sandwich with goat cheese and basil.

Virgin America has also added a few new cocktails.

• Tequila Tea: Hornitos Reposado 100% Blue Agave Tequila + Honest Tea
• Sweet Tree: VeeV Acai Spirit + Cranapple Juice
• Grandma’s Coffee: illy issimo Iced Cappuccino + Whiskey
• Rouge Sunset: Karma Sparkling Wine + Cranapple Juice
• Mile High-Tini: illy issimo Iced Cappuccino + Vodka

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That appears to be the motto for some tour guides in Hong Kong, according to the China’s National Tourism Adminstration.

An undated video of Chinese tourists being forced to buy things in Hong Kong shops has ignited outrage on the mainland, according to media reports. Now the NTA in China has issued a very stern letter of disapproval to Hong Kong, warning it to stop such bad behavior or, or, or it might issue another letter.

Actually, the NTA issued a travel advisory after hearing of the video and following up on the rumor that a 65 year old Chinese man died of a heart attack in Hong Kong after being forced to shop, according to Xinhu News.

Shopping could be the price some tourists pay for such good deals to Hong Kong, Xinhu points out. The trips are subsidized by the travel agency, which then collects a percentage of sales dollars from shops that it takes the tourists to. It’s an ancient scam first done by Egyptians when Phoenician tourists would sale in to Alexandria for papyrus.

Since then, it’s been modernized.

We’re unsure if some Chinese tourists are asking: How much for that freedom in the window? Which, since Hong Kong now belongs to China again, has gotten quite expensive.

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According to media reports, the ship was placed there hundreds of years ago as people worked to extend Manhattan, which was smaller back in the day. Apparently, lots of things are buried under New York City, as the edges of the island were extended by burying everyone’s junk there.

The boat was preserved because it was not exposed to air and other wood-eating elements, one of the scientists told CNN. But now that it’s been unearthed, it will slowly deteriorate — making Manhattan just a little bit smaller.

Photo credit: Associated Press

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(Congress has thought about this for a long time, in part, because they don’t actually pay for their own flights, tax payers do, so it thinks airlines should provide an up front list of what fees people are paying, though the down side to this is passengers would quickly learn how much the federal/state/local governments are also charging people to fly. You can see the dilemma.)

Here’s what Kate Hanni, a woman who has parlayed a delayed flight into a career and director of FlyersRights.org told Congress:

Kate Hanni wants airline tickets to have higher taxes.

“Congress, not just DOT, should act now to protect consumers from the ever increasing number and variety of fees imposed on them by the airlines. These fees, many of which the airlines do not have to pay taxes on, are simply an effort by the airlines to shift their financial burdens onto American consumers at a time when they can least afford them.”

What Kati doesn’t say is that if airlines eliminate all of these silly fees — tickets will cost a even more.

Hey, we think silly fees are just dumb — we’re not boycotting Evil Spirit Airlines because of taxation issues, it’s the fact it wants to charge passengers to use the overhead bin. But as consumers, we have the right to vote with our dollars.

And we think Kati did (get it?) a good job with the passenger bill of rights to limit the amount of time passengers are allowed to be stuck on a runway. But like so many other activists that actually get their agenda looked at and passed — it’s never enough. Now, Kati the Menace looks more like a media whore than someone who is actually helping travelers.

Here’s the stupidest thing Kati Come Lately told Congress: “Airlines like imposing fees rather than increasing fares because in most cases they can avoid paying taxes which support the safety and efficiency of our airport system–so consumers are being ripped off and shortchanged at the same time–enough is enough.”

Consumers are not being ripped off by not paying taxes on some of the ticket. It costs a lot already, why would we want to pay more?

Please, Kati, shut up.

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They are those little cities outside of big ones where most of middle America lives. The nights are filled with soccer practice and school plays and the days are filled with hair appointments and all you can eat bread sticks.

Strip clubs are replaced with strip malls and the next generation of working folk are beginning to fill the streets at night — looking for a bar to wash away the nightmare that has become their nine to five lifestyle.

It doesn’t really matter what state you’re in, that suburb is near you. It’s outside of Miami or San Diego. It’s 20 miles away from Seattle or 15 miles outside of Pittsburgh.

In this case, it’s right outside of Detroit in a small little city/town known as Royal Oak.

And here’s a twist on the Pure Michigan campaign — which was created to attract a few more tourists to the Great Lakes state.

Think Michigan has problems? Check out what’s happening in Arizona.

And then there’s Cleveland’s

Or Detroit

Or Oakland

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Organized by the Isla Mujeres Department of Tourism and ecotourismtravel agency Ceviche Tours, this year’s Shark Fest willcelebrate the beauty and culture of Isla Mujeres and support the need to preserve the fragile marine ecosystem. A portion of the festival’s proceeds will be donated to several environmental not-for-profit organizations.

Guests can participate in a variety of activities, including the highly anticipated whale shark bloom, where hundreds of the familia de Jaws will come together to swim in a group near the coast of Isla Mujeres (approximately 1,400 whale sharks make their way through the waters of Isla Mujeres every summer); swimming with whale sharks, where Junior can get his photo taken with Sharkey and post the pic not only on Facebook for bragging rights but to a virtual database used by Project Domino, a conservation program implemented by the Mexican government, to track the toothed terrorists; and academic seminars and film showcases, where scientists from around the world will present a series of talks on marine biology, sustainable ecotourism, recycling education, and Mayan architecture.

“Sustainable eco-tourism engages guests in the effort to preserve the indigenous culture of Isla Mujeres, their way of life and the marine environment,” said John Vater, who co-founded Ceviche Tours with his wife, Adriana, and longtime friend and Isla Mujeres native, Luis “Cuco” Refugio.  “Environmental preservation and sustainable eco-tourism will help sustain Isla Mujeres for generations to come.”

The Festival will be held July 16-18, 2010 in Isla Mujeres, Quintana Roo, Mexico. Travel arrangements and bookings for whale shark tours can be made through Ceviche Tours.

For a more complete listing of 2010 Whale Shark Festival activities and additional information, visit www.whalesharkfest.com or www.cevichetours.com.

Photos courtesy of Call Communications/Ceviche Tours.

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Reporter Sarah Pascarella took a stab at all of those pay for a discount cards and found out — most of them are not nearly as good of a deal as you might think.

The City Passes Pascarella looked into — in New York, Chicago and San Francisco may have had a big face value savings of up to $58 but does it really do that much for you? Well, first of all — and we could have told you this — you only save that much if you get all of those discounts at every place it offers a discount.

Pascarella was too polite to say “no one wants to spend a long weekend just going to tourist spots in a new city” but the truth is, nobody does.

A trip to Chicago that spends too much time at the Field Museum, the John Hancock Observatory and the Museum of Science and Industry is not a trip worth taking. A little culture is nice, but exhibit after exhibit is pretty boring. You’ll probably save more money during happy hour on Rush Street.

The investigation didn’t end there, though — as she dug into AAA hotel discounts and AARP travel discounts. Both didn’t offer much of a discount over what you can find by other discounts that don’t require you fork out some cash and collect a little plastic car. Then again, if you have a beater of a vehicle, the AAA card might come in handy if it stops running and the AARP includes that nifty monthly publication.

Pascarella looked into a few more discount programs, mostly surmising that, if it sounds too good to be true, well, you know how that goes and while there is some savings, you should always figure out how much you’re going to actually use the program before spending your money to join it.

No one should go broke saving money.

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Even King James bought a one-way ticket out of town.

Yes, we cover sports, in fact later today, we’ll be offering up our second sports story — which will include a fine recipe for calamari.

But, for the moment, we wanted to use our traveling insight to help explain to a few dejected Cleveland Cavalier fans why LeBron “King” James — the most wanted basketball star free agent signing — picked Miami over his home town.

It’s because Cleveland pretty much sucks. And now its basketball team will too.

Yes, there is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which, if you’re stuck in Cleveland, is worth the time to visit, but instead of looking at old sweaty clothes worn by former rock stars, you

A typical street scene in Cleveland. Not one person.

really should be spending your time a little more wisely by looking for a nearby  exit.

Hipster Travel Guide actually drove over to Cleveland a few weeks ago just to see what all of the hubbub is all about this city on Lake Erie. That’s where

we learned that on a beautiful Sunday afternoon — almost nothing is open. And all of the people have left. (There was actually a sign next to one building that asked anyone walking by to go inside and turn off the lights.)

The city is pretty clean, which is bonus, we suppose — though, not really. It just makes it look sterile and unapproachable. At least many of the other major cities in the Midwest rust belt have abandoned buildings and ruin porn. That provides hipsters around the world a chance to take Nietzchesque photos of society decay that you can save in black and white and post on Facebook. Cleveland may have the Eastside that will leave you wondering where your wallet is but even that is uninspiring.

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“We were having trouble thinking of new and creative ways to stick it to the consumer,” said Rex Wingspan, executive director of the Air Transport Association. “First it was hidden ticket processing fees, then no food on flights, and charging extra for checked bags. Then we thought, why not charge for the arms and legs themselves? It only makes good business sense. I think we’ve found a real winner with L.E.G.”

However, Wingspan acknowledges air travelers’ growing frustration with the onslaught of additional fees when flying.

“We appreciate our consumers and empathize with their situation,” he says. “We know the climate is a bit hostile, which is why we’ve decided to keep the additional charge under ten dollars a limb. That way, people will have enough money to buy a sandwich at the airport, or splurge for a pillow and blanket on the plane.”

When pressed for more information, Wingspan admitted that he has never set foot on a commercial airline nor does he plan on doing so in the near future. “I only fly on private jets. I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid,” he says.

Officials say the rising cost of fuel, coupled with the still stagnant economy, has forced the airline transportation industry to impose the L.E.G. tax. The added charge will guarantee all arms and legs will fly on board—not cargo—on any domestic or international flight. However, oversized limbs may carry any additional fine, up to $12.95 per limb, depending on size and girth.

Unemployed hand model Amie Elm from Seattle believes ATA’s decision to impose a limb-fee hike is a reasonable solution to boost the industry’s bottom line.

“It’s only fair,” she says. “I mean, like, if you really think about it, your arms and legs are like little extra bags, anyway, you know? And, like, most people forget that their limbs are a privilege, not a right. I can open beer bottles with my chest.”

The L.E.G. tax is expected to boost air transportation revenue by $2 billion but that won’t end additional fees hitting consumers.

The Airline Rejuvenation Mediation surcharge is another fee many carriers are considering tacking onto tickets.

“It’s not that the airlines need more money,” Wingspan said. “It’s that the executives at these airlines need more money. And if that means we need to charge passengers both an ARM and a LEG fees, we’ll do it.”

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