While the media just won’t shut up about this wedding, we’re more interested in cartography than nuptials. (Though we were infatuated with the Swedish princess marrying her personal trainer.)

So where is Rhinebeck, New York? Well, it’s right between Poughkeepsie and Albany and smack dab off of the Hudson River.

As for the wedding — well, the kind of cool, former president Bill Clinton will give away the bride and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Chelsea’s mom, will no doubt have her best wedding pant suit on for the occasion.

It’ll be a big affair, no doubt. We only wish two things for Chelsea: A wonderful day and hopefully, the very last one the media cares about what she does.

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Oh, there may be a couple of hundred million gallons of oil still floating around, but, well, whatever, if there’s not fresh video of birds dying, what’s the point of covering it?

Sadly, that is case of our here today / gone tomorrow media. But for the people who live along the Gulf Coast and many rely on tourism to help pay the bills, many experts say its going to take more than $20 billion to return things to the way they once were. (This is not including the obvious disaster tourists who want to go and see the actual oil washing up on the shores.)

A Washington Post story says that a recent meeting down in New Orleans estimates that the Road to Recovery — the actual name of the plan — will take more than three years and billions of dollars.

A group down on the Gulf has already asked BP for about $500 million to begin a campaign to lure tourists down south, we suspect that this coming winter there are going to be fabulous deals for tourists willing to actually see the Gulf of Mexico as the cleanup begins and people continue their lives — without cameras in their faces.

Our take: It’s a tragedy, but things are going to get better. Checking things out will be the first thing we do — and from there — we’ll let you know.

Now, about that shrimp shortage.

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Parking, when you can find it, is very expensive. And that’s only if you can find it.

Double parking, while illegal, is often the preferred method if you’ve just got to run into the shop to grab a bagel and coffee.

These are just a few rules Egypt’s former boy King should learn as his homeland prepares to bring his chariot to New York City. The chariot, which has not left Egypt for at least three centuries, has also gained a certain amount of notoriety.

After learning the young king had a broken leg shortly before he died, many scientists theorized the King may have fallen off his chariot while hunting. This theory, known as the “stuff we make up” theory, could play a central role during the chariot’s tour.

The chariot arrives Wednesday and will join Mr. Tut at the Discovery Times Square Exposition. In 2011, the chariot will head to Denver.

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Some trips are an adventure.

Now Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry are offering a once in the lifetime adventure that will never let you leave the confines of its walls.

The museum wants one person to live there for 30 days. That’s 24/7 inside the museum. When people leave, you stay — able to wander around the exhibits when no one else is there. In fact, when people are there, you may not even get to see them as you’ll be busy writing about the things you’ve done while there. And when it’s all over — and you either really love, or hate, the museum you’ll get $10,000 for your troubles as well as a slew of high tech gadgets.

So why is the museum doing this program? Well, it’s trying to promote the museum with a person writing about it nonstop. In fact, the person selected will become part scientist, part experiment and part exhibit.

Click here to apply, and remember, you have to provide the following:

• VIDEO: A 60-second video (on DVD, playable on DVD player) telling us about you and why you should be the person chosen for this assignment. Use the video to showcase the creativity and qualities that make you the right person.
• ESSAY: A 500-word essay that explains why you want to be the person chosen to live in the Museum for a month.
• APPLICATION FORM: Complete and sign the application form and short-answer sheet.
• PHOTO:  Submit a 5” x 7” head shot
• RELEASE AND WAIVER: Execute the Release and Waiver accompanying the application form.

There are some other rules you have to follow, such as passing a drug test, can’t smoke — there’s no smoking on the museum property, which you’re not allowed to leave — and the museum requires a head shot, so, you can’t be ugly. Illinois

But it still sounds pretty cool and once you do it, you may never look at museums the same way again.

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Pink’s hot dogs, which, according to the LA Times Travel Blog, has been steaming up wieners to Hollywood’s finest for seven decades has now opened up a stand at LAX.

Passengers haven’t had this much access to encased meats ever since Larry “I’m not gay” Craig was busted in Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport for his own toe tapping bathroom incident. Now footlongs will be in the hands of hungry travelers instead of delusional congressmen — T-shirts are still optional.

The stand opened Thursday with an official ribbon cutting, though owner Gloria Pink — she married into the Pink family hot dog empire — says she’s just estatic to spread the family’s wiener love around.

And that’s certainly the kind of love we can approve. Having another food option at LAX certainly can’t hurt.

Photo credits: LA Times Travel Blog and Pink’s

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The quaint, Mediterranean-style hotel sits quietly along the oceanfront row of anonymous high-rises and tired strip malls in the sleepy community of Jacksonville Beach, an anomaly amidst the sprawl of urban blight, a throwback to simpler times when men wore suits to go fishing and drove their Model T Fords right up to the water’s edge.

The hotel originally opened its doors to the public in 1925 to much fanfare and regale; the town, formerly known as Ruby, was considered the vacation hotspot and welcomed the likes of Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Jean Harlow, John D. Rockefeller, and the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. And as you walk through the main entrance, you get the distinct feeling that they are still there: an understated, easy elegance and casual sophistication permeates the air. History undoubtedly surrounds you, yet the hotel is not caught in the past.

The ambiance and location—literally steps away from the sand—serve as the scenic backdrop for morning yoga on the beach, an evening sunset stroll, or a fabled wedding ceremony. Casa Marina holds the distinct honor of being voted top wedding venue by blushing brides in The Knot’s Best Of Weddings 2010, a respected industry guide for brides-to-be.

“There is no higher honor than being viewed as ‘one of the best’ by the guests who chose us to host one of the most important days of their lives,” said general manager, Mark Vanderloo. “We take great pride in setting a new standard for individual service and attention to detail.”

The spacious, art-deco suite that was my temporary respite offered a partial view of the ocean and pier and had recently been refurbished with new flooring, boutique fixtures and furniture, and a mini chandelier in the hallway. The convenience of the suite’s separate sitting area, complete with a mini-fridge, roomy couch, chair and TV, allowed for privacy from the main bedroom. Because Casa Marina is small—there are only 25 rooms in the entire hotel—it’s the ideal getaway from the noisy, stifling summer crowds of typical resort chains.

By far, the hotel’s signature spot is the rooftop Penthouse Lounge with sweeping ocean views and intoxicating salt-scented breezes. (Leaning over the balcony with the wind kissing my hair, I felt like Kate Winslet in Titanic, sans the sinking boat and DiCaprio side-kick.) It’s a taste of Miami Beach and a trendy hot spot for young professionals looking to kick back after work, grab some tapas, and indulge in martinis big enough to swim in; the drink list is longer than a phone call from your mother-in-law.

Weather permitting, opt for plein air dining in the courtyard, and listen (and dance with the maitre d’, Sterling) to jammin’ cover tunes performed by The Johnston Duo (Wednesdays at 6:30; also Tuesdays in The Penthouse). It’s a great place for a casual dinner date, and while the prices are a bit high ($27.95 for rack of lamb), expect generous portions, impeccably prepared food (best goat cheese salad, hands down), and prompt, attentive service- a perfect night out.

Rooftop and beach photos courtesy of Leigh Cort, Leigh Cort Publicity.

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Oh wait, hurricanes are a seasonal event — which is why many people, like meteorologists, refer to the time frame from June 1 to November 1 as Hurricane Seasons. We even have a National Hurricane Center, created to cover these natural phenomenon.

But every year around this time, as tropical depressions become hurricanes there’s almost a surprise. So imagine our surprise this morning when we learned that, gasp, there are some growing systems in the Caribbean that might bring some rough weather to Mexico, Cuba and other Caribbean islands.

Now, media reports are acting slightly surprised that these systems might become stormy weather in the Gulf of Mexico and Caribbean have a 40 percent chance of becoming hurricanes. Sheesh, it happens every year, and some annual events should come as a surprise.

For those traveling to places like Cancun, Mexico City and Cuba, these big storms could rain on your holiday — but that’s also one of the reasons there are so many special offers during this time frame. It’s because there is almost always a chance of showers and strong winds.

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Photos of the smuggled monkeys released by Mexican authorities

security in Mexico City, according to Mexican authorities.

Security officers decided to take a closer look at Roberto Sol Cabrera after noticing him acting nervously as he stood in line and stuffed bananas down his shirt. (Actually, the monkeys were stuffed into socks and then wrapped around a belt.)

They had reason to be suspicious and upon removing Cabrera’s sweater discovered the tiny Titi monkeys. Cabrera tried to pass off the monkeys as just really big crabs, but Mexican authorities weren’t buying that.

According to The Daily Telegraph, Cabrera had bought the monkeys in Peru for about $30 each. He had hoped to sell them in Mexico for about $1,000 each — which in business terms is a pretty steep mark up. However, while he first thought about tossing the little critters in his luggage, he feared they might get hurt by the X-ray machine — and no doubt — might be seen on the X-ray machine as well.

So he stuffed them under his clothes and then tried to look as calm as possible as 18 baby monkeys squirmed around right next to his skin.

While any traveler may like the idea of buying something in a far away land and then bringing it home for big bucks, we would never recommend stuffing a couple of monkeys in your pants — there’s just something very wrong with the idea.

Check out this video from The Daily Telegraph.

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Picture from my basement. Seriously, it's from Wikipedia.

Oakland – the highest city in California at sea level is aiming higher. Come November, you may want to think of Oakland as a vacation destination.

If you plan your vacations around where you can get high, you’re probably aware that California has an initiative on the ballot in November to legalize marijuana. Chances are highly likely this will pass and you’ll have yet another place to go get your buzz on.

California was the first state to legalize medical marijuana 13 years ago. After a rocky start, Oakland emerged as a winner with growing schools and distribution shops. However, little tax revenue is realized. For those on the brink of financial meltdown, it’s not enough.

courtesy localharvest.org

The Oakland City Counsel recently came to and learned that allowing major growers to and create pot farms with acreage of growing, rows of baking ovens and the equipment to grow, creation of jobs and tax dollars follows. In one case, the counsel is salivating over the idea of 371 jobs and $1.5 million in tax revenue. It seems a bit small, but with some grow lights, the yield could be bigger.

Amazingly, who are the opponents to this idea? The current collective of growers and distributors who participate in the medical marijuana industry. They’re worried collectives and small growers will be pushed out as someone larger and more efficient arrive, providing the product at a lower price.

It’s inevitable. The rally for California to become the first state to totally legalize marijuana is going to bring in big business and fill the coffers of the local cities and state strapped for cash. That is the sole reason for legalization. There is no other reason for the state to bring this to ballot if tax revenue is not a part of the picture and small co-ops do not bring in revenue (hence the name co-op).

This, though, is a stupid argument. Should people really be scared of Big Pot? And if they are, well, that’s just some bad weed. Who goes to Wal Mart to buy quality product?  Small growers will have the high quality weed that everyone wants and pays more for. This will actually benefit the small grower more than they know, they’ll just have a higher tax bill in the end, which does bite.

Regardless of the controversy, pack your bags, but pack light. California is just a state the the Feds don’t take kindly to anyone rubbing their nose in it. Eventually, the question of who has jurisdiction over the state’s legalization of marijuana will be resolved. Oakland will be the new Amsterdam, just without red lights, history and amazing architecture.

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But we’ve recently made contact with the folks over at Travel-Ticker.com — an interesting travel website and off shoot of HotWire.com.

The site is pretty simple and easy to follow and it does a nice job of offering you

Barbara

different modes and ways to travel. Then there’s Barbara — kind of like the Travel-Ticker hottie who offers you tips and sound travel advice.

We asked the folks at Travel-Ticker to offer up some of their best Caribbean deals and this is what they came up with: Which, overall, isn’t bad at all.

But don’t take our word for it — and, no, Travel-Ticker is not giving us any money or compensation of any sort to write about them — go over and check out their site for yourself. However, it’s unclear if the best travel deals are the best because Travel-Ticker is getting paid to post them or they are scouring the world to find them.

Here’s the Jack Sparrow deals currently being offered:

Atlantis

o        3 nts. at Atlantis Bahamas + kids stay/play no charge, $299* - Just extended — Atlantis’ lowest rates of the year. For $299 per person, you can stay 3 nights in a Beach Tower room at Atlantis, Paradise Island, Bahamas – enjoy the giant water park, casino and white sand beaches. Book by July 31.

o        St. Kitts: 5-night trip with air and 4-star Marriott stay, $729* – Relax, gamble, golf, swim, and save. Do this and more with a flight to the Caribbean island of St. Kitts and 5 nights at the AAA Four Diamond Marriott from $729*. This resort features a casino, golf course, spa, and more. Valid September 1-December 15.

o        Jamaica: 4-star all-inclusive vacation with air — from $599* - Jamaica luxury, lowest rate this year. Fly to Jamaica and stay 5 nights in a junior suite at the all-inclusive Grand Palladium Jamaica Resort & Spa from $599* per person. Valid September 1-October 31.

o        E. Caribbean cruise: 75% off 5-night w/upgrade, $239 (reg. $1,039) - Up to 75% off and an upgrade. Take a 5-night E. Caribbean Carnival cruise starting at $239. Depart from Miami with stops on Grand Turk Island and the Bahamas. Plus, a cabin upgrade and excursion discounts are included.

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