Good luck keeping up, as something you were doing on New Year’s Eve is now illegal, somewhere in America – the land of the not as free as it used to be.

For example:

California added 10 new laws that include everything from allowing prison labor to be used to sell stuff for schools (see: Prison labor is good) to small breweries can now add tasting rooms as long as they don’t serve food. (As food would be bad for people if they are drinking beer.) Also, anyone under 18 can no longer legally buy cough syrup, as if they do, they’ll instantly go home and try to make a batch of meth. See those laws right here.

In New York, it is now illegal to use fertilizer between December and April. Additionally, if a tow truck is behind you and it’s flashing it’s light, drivers must pull off to the shoulder of the road.

It’s also illegal to throw away computers — as they must be recycled in the Empire State.

Eight states added laws that require businesses to verify the immigration status of its employees, and a handful states raised the minimum wage.

Utah banned happy hour.

Illinois makes it legal for motorcycles to drive through red lights.

And the list goes on, and on, and on.

It’s got, shake, it’s got roll, it’s The King in all of his glory — the young King as well, which is why that King was put on a stamp.

The Winter with Elvis site, WinterTnVacations.com, may have a goofy url — we can see the meeting, “but what if people can’t spell Tennessee?” actually has a cool contest — win a trip to Memphis, complete with bad puns, such as “It’s Now or Never.”

The contest includes people tweeting their Elvis sightings from around the world, such as the woman who saw some hand cream called Glove me tender. (They offer an app for you to upload sightings.)

The winner gets a free stay at The Peabody in Memphis, a slew of VIP tours and much more.

Of course, the site itself offers up some very cool information from around the state with loads of lists of things to do. It’s really well done, and our guess is they’ve hired someone under 30 to help manage all of the social media on it.

If you’ve never been to Indianapolis before, you know it’s located in the Midwest, have heard of the Indy 500, and know the source of their NFL pride, the Colts. Beyond that, Indy doesn’t get much press, and is largely an unsung hero in the repertoire of must-see cities. Typically, its flashier next-door neighbor, Chicago, gets all the glory, but really, who needs all that traffic, congestion and headache? Indy’s just as fun and frenetic, a city that’s on the rise, in the midst of reinventing and redefining itself to play host to the upcoming Super Bowl XLVI this February and rebranding its image as a destination location city.

The first thing you notice about Indy is the hospitality. In true Midwest fashion, the people greet you with a hearty “Hello!” and make direct eye contact at the check-out, displays that would easily rankle any native New Jerseyian to inherently suspect foul play and impending bodily harm. And, somewhat eerily, the residents all seem to share similar physical traits, akin to characters in “Children of the Corn”: piercing blue eyes, shiny, clear skin, tall in stature. It’s as if the city is one big extended family reunion, without the creepy uncle lurking near the beer cooler.

They’ll ask you if you like the Colts; even if you don’t, it’s wise to say “Yes.”  The fans are loyal, the fealty palpable: during the weather report on the local television news, Peyton Manning’s name is typically sprinkled in for no tangible reason: “Fair and pleasant today, partly sunny with light winds, highs in the upper 60s, and wishing Peyton well on his recovery from surgery.” Regardless the fact that the Colts won’t actually play in the Super Bowl this year—their season record is abysmal—the city is gearing up to host the big Bowl this February and is pulling out all the stops to polish the downtown area in preparation for the anticipated 150,000 visitors or more for the game, resulting in added revenue of nearly $300 million for the city.

Some of the refurbishments include a facelift for Miss Indiana, the sword-wielding, torch-bearing, 19,300-pound bronzed beauty perched above the 284-foot Soldier and Sailor’s Monument in the heart of downtown’s Monument Circle. To encourage more foot and bike traffic, the construction of the 8-mile Cultural Trail was initiated, a meandering path that encircles Indy’s five official cultural districts along the route, punctuated by large-scale pieces of original artwork, lush landscaping, and distinctive lighting. Visitors who don’t want to walk (or bike) but still want a taste of the downtown area might consider a Segway tour in and around White River State Park, a 250-acre urban green space featuring eight museums, concert venues, a zoo and the picturesque central canal, reminiscent of the San Antonio River walk.

If the Cultural Trail leaves you wanting more art, check out the Indianapolis Museum of Art, the nation’s seventh largest museum featuring more than 50,000 works with an impressive array of original art from a variety of cultures and periods throughout history, including Neoimpressionist paintings by Georges Seurat and preeminent works of Pont-Aven paintings by Paul Gauguin. In addition to the permanent installations, several national and international traveling exhibitions are featured in the museum throughout the year. Elsewhere on the grounds, Robert Indiana’s famous “Love” sculpture sits out front, known for its signature block lettering and a popular spot for photo junkies and amorous lovebirds. Escape the everyday crowd at the 100-acre Virginia B. Fairbanks Art and Nature Park, an urban oasis where visitors stroll through modern sculpture parks with installations integrated into the woodlands, wetlands, lakes and meadows—the largest contemporary art park in the country.

While in town, it’s practically law to visit the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and Motor Speedway Hall of Fame, a near spiritual experience for race car enthusiasts and even those less speedway-inclined. Billed “the greatest spectacle in racing” and the world’s largest spectator sporting facility at 253 acres, the 2.5 mile-long oval track at the IMS features four distinct turns and straightaways with nine-degree banked turns; racers reach speeds upwards of 200 miles per hour, inside an oval that’s big enough to fit Yankee Stadium, the Roman Colosseum, Vatican City, Churchill Downs and the Rose Bowl snug inside. Its size is deceiving small from the roadway, but once inside, you appreciate the sheer enormity of the place: hidden alleyways, tons of garages, enormous parking fields, medical bunkers, not to mention the grandstand itself, with 250,000 permanent seats, that, if dismantled and laid end-to-end, would stretch nearly 100 miles.

View of finish line at Indianapolis Motor Speedway

However, the true essence of the Indy 500 can only be experienced on race day: the pungent smell of burning oil, the growling din of screaming engines eating the track, the roar of the crowd cheering on their favorite driver, the electric anticipation of the checkered flag signaling victory for the lucky winner. Plus, there’s beer, and lots of it—approximately 14,000 gallons or more are poured on race day—to keep your engines going throughout the day. Arrive a day or so before the race and a make a pit-stop at the Hall of Fame Museum, featuring some of the most eclectic and diversified collections of antique and classic automobiles and racing cars in the world. Opened in 1956 and now a National Historic Landmark, the museum features 75 vehicles on display at any given time, with the winning Indy 500 race cars lined up in chronological order to see how the cars have evolved over the years. Visitors can sit in a mock Indy race car for photo ops, and pose in front of the famed Borg-Warner trophy, the sterling silver icon awarded to the winner each year and casted with replica busts of each race winner over the years, or browse the replica old-time garage, a step back in time with vintage signs, tools, photos and hardware.

Standard fare at the track is hot dogs and burgers, but step outside the oval you start hearing tales of the legendary shrimp cocktail that put Indy on the culinary map. Harry & Izzy’s restaurant, located in the bustling area of downtown’s Illinois Street, is a casually elegant throwback to the days of Prohibition in a comfortable, lush environment. A sister restaurant to the renowned St. Elmo’s Steak House, Harry & Izzy’s is co-owned by Peyton Manning and draws a big lunchtime suited crowd and serves as the perfect hideout for signature cocktails and wines at the upstairs circular bar. For dinner, grab a cozy table for two near the floor-to-ceiling windows and start with the world famous appetizer, the St. Elmo shrimp cocktail, a spicy concoction of oversized shrimp and tangy Worcestershire sauce, perfectly complemented by a juicy wedge of lemon and side of crispy crackers.  For the main course, try the Izzy-style New York strip, rolled in cracked peppercorn and pan-seared and served in an orange brandy butter sauce, and the grilled yellow fin tuna with rice and soy cilantro ginger sauce.

Borg-Warner trophy on display at Motor Speedway Hall of Fame

A growing trend in Indy’s dining scene is the farm-to-table movement, proving the Midwest still holds its might in fresh foods. A rising star on the culinary menu is R Bistro, offering contemporary American cuisine in a rustic, intimate setting (only 17 tables; call ahead for reservations), located in the heart of downtown’s eclectic art district on Mass Ave. Executive chef and owner Regina Mehallick brings her passion for flavor and local ingredients to each and every dish; veggies picked that morning are used in the salads and entrees that night. The menu changes weekly and reflects seasonal varieties; this fall, featured dishes include stuffed leg of lamb with red garnet sweet potatoes in a red wine sauce, and Cornish game hens with sweet potato risotto and cranberry sauce. Make sure to leave room for dessert.

For after-dinner libations, there’s nothing better than the new Libertine Liquor Bar on East Washington Street, where the bartenders are true mixologists, not beer slingers, and don proper vests, ties and caps, lending a youthful newsboy vibe from behind the bar. Named for its untamed, innovative, and uncompromising spirit, The Libertine is easy sophistication meets old-time saloon, greeting you with words from Walt Whitman scrawled on the foyer walls upon entrance to whet your prose (“Pioneers! O Pioneers!/Come, my tan-faced children/follow well in order…”). The drink menu is creatively crafted as are the drinks; the cocktail listing reads like a flier from a gypsy circus passing through town (“Snake oils, fortifieds and palatable bitters”). Bottles of Absinthe are properly housed in vintage atomized spritzers, and choice drinks dance in mystical blue flame. Preferred drinks include the Chartreuse Smash (green Chartreuse, yellow Chartreuse, lemon and mint), or Pimm’s Cup (Pimm’s No. 1, Bluecoat gin, cucumber, lemon and Redd’s ginger brew).

Tasting bar at New Day Meadery

If you’re into home brewing, check out New Day Meadery in the historic Fountain Square Cultural District for quality hard ciders and honey wines. Former bee keepers turned mead makers, owners Brett Canaday and Tia Agnew started making mead in 2001 as way to combine their love of gardening, bee keeping and good food.  The hobby soon turned into a flourishing business with an emphasis on using nothing but fresh, locally grown and harvested fruit and honey to make quality mead. Quantities are seasonal and limited due to the freshness of each batch, so check back often to see what’s on the menu, and bring your “growler” (bottle) in for a refill. Worth a taste: The Free Thinker, a floral and fruity honey wine with a hint of spice, and the semi-sweet Plum Honey Wine, featuring top notes of bing cherry and plum with undertones of cinnamon and fig.

The best-kept secret for a comfortable stay while visiting Indy is 14 West Restaurant and Suites, hidden in plain sight in the heart of the downtown area near the convention center. Known more for its restaurant of the same name (perfect lobster mac & cheese, with generous chunks of lobster swimming in brie and parmesan), the all-suites hotel features queen and king suites with full kitchens and fridge, washer/dryers, flat screen TV, WiFi, and comfy beds with goose down duvets. The 2,500 square-foot penthouse suite, which takes up the entire fourth floor, has two bedrooms, two-and-a-half baths, a sauna, and Jacuzzi—typically reserved for celebrities and dignitaries while in town. Complete the experience by booking a massage or facial at the new Evan Todd Salon and Spa Conrad, at home in the luxury digs at the Conrad right down the way from 14 West. Services incorporate the balance of beauty and well-being using all-natural signature Aveda products.

Robert Indiana's infamous sculpture out front Indianapolis Museum of Art

Special thanks to the Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Association; Chris Gahl, vice president of marketing and communications; senior communications manager Morgan Greenlee; and marketing and communications coordinator, Evan Strange,  for hosting media writer, Gayle McCarthy.

Photo by The Red Horse Inn

That’s the best way to see all of the amazing colors surrounding you as North America gets ready for winter is to leave your desk and hit the great outdoors.

New England has already begun its foliage season, where trees turn into fireworks of color for a few weeks. (The prime season is right now. And the dazzling colors will slowly make their way south as the season extends all the way to the Gulf of Mexico.)

So why count on us to pick the best places to see the fall colors? AAA did all the work and named the 10 best places to see them. One of those places, which sent us some fabulous photos was the four diamond, ultra fancy, The Red Horse Inn, 28 miles from Downtown Greenville in Landrum, SC.

Photo by The Red Horse Inn

Located on 200 acres on the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, Innkeeper Mary Wolters, who with her husband built the Inn, said everyone is welcome.

“The scenic views here are one of our greatest selling points. It enhances the overall serenity of the Inn. We’re always at capacity during foliage months- but it’s nice now that the world knows our little secret.”

Indeed, and judging by the pictures, a little southern hospitality might make for a great long weekend.

Rooms start at $175 a night. And there are six cottages on the property, as well as six rooms in the main building.

Detroit's Central Station-Built to last 300 years, abandoned for the past 40+ years

Forbes magazine likes lists. Usually, they’re fun money lists like wealthiest person in the world, most wealthy eligible bachelors or the top Hollywood earners. But with the fun comes the serious or in this case the sad.

Forbes has decided to take FBI crime data from cities with populations of more than 200,000 and boil it all down to determine the most dangerous cities in America. Looking only at four categories of violent crime: murder and non-negligent manslaughter, forcible rape, robbery and aggravated assault, here are the winners. Well, change that to losers.

5. Anchorage, Alaska. Yes, cold days that last for less than two hours are bound to drive anyone to murder. And apparently do Meth which, regardless of the laws in place to limit the sale of Sudafed, still seems to find it’s way into Alaska from Mexico.

4. Flint, Michigan. Okay, if Michael Moore continued to use you but never bought you dinner, I’m pretty sure you’d end up holding up the Kroger to get some kibble. Seriously, those that haven’t left are now just doing what they can to survive.

Detroit: Abandoned, no life, oh, and it's for rent at a good rate.

3. Springfield, Illinois. Those Simpson kids are causing trouble here. The unemployment rate is low, it is the capital of Illinois and it’s not a particularly poor city, it’s only logical to blame it on those damned kids.

2. Memphis, Tennessee. Everyone’s singing the blues since the new method of reporting crime in Memphis. The new system makes the poorest city in America look even bleaker as Memphis police have gone super anal and decided to report out every crime ever committed in the city.

1. Detroit, Michgan. The usual excuses here. Job loss and people loss. You can’t blame a new reporting system (the police aren’t necessairly renowned for reporting anything), you can’t blame the youth (they’re leaving in droves) and you can’t blame meth (no one can afford it here). Crime is crime and it’s about the best business in Detriot. Just ask our former mayor.

Of course, if we Detroiters don’t like it, we can always move to Flint.

The Pod Hotel Bunk Beds - photo courtesy The Pod Hotel

We spent the past hundred years up sizing, so it was inevitable: downsizing is now the rage, whether we like it or not. From cars to homes to waistlines to well, now hotels.

Everyone’s heard about the capsule hotels in Japan’s airports and train stations, and thought sure, if you’re tired enough, claustrophobia won’t set in and it beats sleeping on the ground. But really, it’s not feasible for more than a few hours and what about spending a week there?

The Jane's single room - - photo courtesy of The Jane

New York City, home of everything cool and hip, has the answer. Micro-hotels. Offering just about everything a normal hotel room does except for floor space. Rooms are sized 50 to 130 square feet and have the price to match with rates ranging from $89 to $170 per night. Space? Who needs space?

Located in the city’s trendy Meatpacking District is The Jane, offering micro-rooms designed to look like a cabin on a ship. This micro-hotel offers three size accommodations: single bed, bunk beds and double beds. Single and bunk rooms have shared bathrooms on each floor. Think of that as sharing

The Jane's shared bathroom, cleaner than home! - photo courtesy The Jane

the bathroom with your brother – you’ll be fine. Each room offers free wi-fi access, cable on the LCD flat-screen TV, DVD players, iPod docking stations, toiletries and bathrobes (this way, you don’t lose your undies in the bathroom).

The Pod Hotel is located in Midtown Manhattan. It’s decor looks like an Ikea showroom, but you can probably find your room a lot faster than you can find the exit at Ikea. The Pod offers four room sizes (single bed, bunk, double or queen) and has a few more options depending on your lodging needs. The single and bunk bed rooms have shared bathrooms on the floor with a handy lighting system in your room that allows you to know if the bathroom is occupied so you don’t have to look like a perv hanging out by the bathroom. Amenities at the Pod include free wi-fi access, LCD flat-screen TV, mp3 docking stations, and a steel sink in your room – so there’s no excuse not to brush your teeth.

Yotel Time Square Concept - photo courtesy Yotel

Opening Spring 2011 in Times Square is the Yotel. This micro-hotel is already available in London at Gatwick and Heathrow airports and at Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport. They’ve taken the idea of the Japanese capsule (coffin) and turned it into a room at the airport. Originally designed for the person stranded overnight, with a long layover or those that want to freshen up after that long flight to Europe, Yotel’s airport rooms are available for four hours or more and require reservations.

Yotel Standard Room floor plan - photo courtesy Yotel

Whereas we don’t think Yotel will offer rooms by the hour in Times Square, the rooms will be available for more traditional bookings starting in Spring of 2011. All rooms boast private bathrooms, LCD flat-screen TVs, a work station with free wi-fi and 24 hour room service.

All of these micro-hotels offer plenty of common space outside your room. From terraces to hip hang-out lounges, the place to be is outside your room, whether on the property or not. Hey, it’s New York – do you really want to hang out in your room?

HTG is actually on vacation: This story is from our best of files.  It originally ran on Oct. 10, 2010

Every package of Detroit Ruin Porn should include Detroit Central Station.

People come from around the world to take pictures of Detroit.

The city has been dying for generations and there are lots of rubberneckers riding around one of the largest cities in the US snapping off pics of the decay. It’s like going through the cancer ward at your local hospital and taking portraits.

It’s the latest craze: Ruin Porn. Snap a photo of some of the destruction and then talk to your friends about how awful things really are there. If people visit you in Detroit, you can also give them a guided tour of some of it — just leave the windows of your car rolled up — you wouldn’t want to breathe any of the city air without a filter.

Now the key to taking good Ruin Porn is to disregard all of the life and real culture in the city. Refuse to notice parts of the city that are vibrant and full of life. If there’s a building falling apart, snap it’s picture — it may not be around much longer.

Also, if you’re viewing ruin porn, disregard the car’s mirror in the picture, or the fact every photo is taken from street level.

Ruins can become art. Look at Egypt or Rome, those are full of ancient buildings that are, technically, abandoned. Though those buildings have fewer crack addicted squatters.

Check out some of the photos we took Saturday and what pics make good Ruin Porn and what pics don’t. All photos are by HTG and shot by Vikki Stenstream. Stunt driving, which included running a couple of lights because your car should act like a shark in Detroit, if you stop, you could die.

HTG is actually on vacation: This story is from our best of files. This story originally ran May 20, 2010. 

Noodles to the revolution!

Real history is so boring. And Boston is full of it.

So why learn how Sam Adams got a bunch of patriots so riled up in 1773 over the pending tea tax that they dressed up like Indians, marched down to the pier, snuck onto a ship and threw all of the bails of tea in the harbor. It was a protest of epic proportions.

But is that really what happened?  Blah blah blah.

Everyone knows that Sam Adams never planned anything in his life.

I understand the statue, but everything else, leaves me confused. What I can’t figure out is why, in the middle of Quincy Market, is there a giant sculpture dedicated to Macaroni and Cheese. Was it the preferred comfort food for Bostonians during the siege of 1775?

What roll did it play in the Revolution? So after careful research and uncovering some lost historical documents, I have pieced together what really (may have) happened outside of Faneuil Hall that served as a spark for the flames of a revolution.

Tea Party? Hipsters love parties

Back in the day  when men wore three pointed hats and women dressed in left over outfits from Monty Python skits, Boston was a dirty, messy city full of despair.

Most people were upset because it was still 1773 – years were longer back then – and there really wasn’t much to do but chop wood and carry dirt to fill in swamps  to create the city of Boston. (It was known as the Big Fill, later it would be replaced with the Big Dig.)

Sam Adams, a flegling brewer and “patriot” which in 1773 meant “unemployed” was sitting around Sam’s Pub in Quincy Market. The Boston market, which would later become a fast food chain, was still working on its recipe for meatloaf, as spices had yet to be invented and the loaf of meat was simply a subsitute for bread. (In 1773, wheat was a delcacy and

American women were still three revolutions away from becoming attractive.

bread was placed between two slices of pork and called a hamwich. It was first sold in for six pennies in 1754 and the phrase “That man is so hungry he’s hamfisted” was coined by Ben Franklin in the Federalist Papers and Pub Review.)

Anway, Sam was drunk again at Cheers II, a pub destined for fame two centuries later when a television show about a fake bar in Boston would begat a chain of real bars full of people celebrating the bar that never really exisited.

Sam Adams was frozen solid while trying to swim in Boston Harbor. He remains frozen to this day in Carbonite.

Sam was sitting around with some of his fellow patriots complaining about his do-nothing brother John — who would later become the man to utter the phrase “Can’t we all just get along” during his final argument defending the British soldiers responsible for the Boston Massacre.

Filled with anger and whiskey, Sam started rambling. (This conversation was recorded by the town scribe who should have been carrying dirt, but due to union rules was on his 2 minute break during his 16 hour work day.)

Sam: “You know what I hateth. It’s taxes.”

Unknown patriot: “Yeah me too.”

Sam: “Sure, the British government pays for us to come to America. Pays for our defense, pays for the Big Fill and pays for everything else. But why the helleth shouldst we pay them anything? You know those tax and spend liberal Brits are trying to take all of our money and spend it on things like landscaping.”

Other unknown patriot: “Yeah that doth blow.”

The revolution would have happened earlier had Patriots had a few segways to use instead of marching.

Sam: “You know what I love?”

Unknown patriot: “No, what?”

Sam: “Dressing up like Indians. That leather against my skin, feels…”

Unknown Patriot: “Um, what about the tea?”

Sam: “And the feathers. Some of those head dresses just look so nice.”

The patriots all exchanged uncomfortable glances,  so they turned to Sam.

Unknown Patriot: “Hey Sam, why don’t you take your damnedth Indian outfit and go jump into the harbor.”

At the time, according to historical documents, at that particular moment in history, Sam thought this was a grand idea.

So Sam Adams strolled down to Boston Harbor with a band of his drunken patroits. The group meandered around the pier, looking for the best place for a swim and some of the patriots, also dressed as Indians roamed onto a nearby ship that was tied to the pier. They wanted a better view of Sam’s drunken swim.

Splash! Sam was in the water.

“Oh my Lord, isth thisth freezing,” Sam shouted as the cold water stole is breath. And Sam started to  struggle in the water. Normally, Sam was a good swimmer, having learned both the dog paddle and the gulp and gasp stroke from his English grandfather.

“Help,” Sam screamed.

You know you love it: And it saved Sam Adams life after the tea party fiasco.

The crowd just stood around, their mouths agape. They had been waiting to see how ol Drunk Sam was going to meet his end and told a strapping young man to ride to to the church tower and place two lamps into the bellfry — sea was going to be his dome.

“Sam Adams is drowning! Sam Adams is drowning!” the rider yelled as he made his way through Boston.

Snapping out of his drunken haze, one of the patriots on the boat realized what was happening, and since Sam had borrowed money from him, decided to help the poor man out.

“”Sam needs our help. Here, give me a hand, let’s throweth this bail into the water so Sam can grab hold of it,” he said, frantically tossing the bail of tea into the water.

But Sam couldn’t reach it, instead he struggled to keep his head above the water, sinking below the surface so only a single feather stuck above the water. Other patriots also started throwing bails of tea into the water — some to help Sam, others to sink him. Sam Adams was not nearly as popular alive as he was dead.

Sam floundered in the wake of the waves from splashing bails of tea, but the caffinated harbor gave him new strength. Sam finally grabbed one of the bails and paddled his way back to the pier. He would have died right then and there — as modern medicine was not yet invented — but because his blood was 2 percent alcohol, he survived the initial shock.

Later that night,  Sam ate a warm plate of Mac &  Cheese at the Purple Shamrock — to this day many say that plate of food gave him the strength to live through the night. But that’s only if Sam could make it past his brother, John, who once hearing (again) about his his antics found his brother at the pub.

“Good Lord Sam, what have you done? Boston Harbor is filled with the King’s tea. This could start a revolution.”

“Tea John? Is that your concern? Noodles to your revolution. I’m American. I’m a coffee man.”

And that’s why there’s a giant piece of macaroni at Quincy Market.

HTG is actually on vacation: This story is from our best of files.  This story originally ran Sept. 14, 2010.

That’s probably what Robert Frost meant when chewed through that road less traveled with 40-inch mudders.

There’s still a month left of sand spitting fun in Western Michigan, but it’s not a trip for the light at heart. Behind the wheel of a 2009 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon, there was pretty much nothing my stock vehicle couldn’t do that many customized jeeps, handmade dune buggies and the swarm of buzzing quads couldn’t do. Of course, most of those drivers froze in the rain, while I turned the heat on high, turned on the stereo and blasted through hood high water. Yeeeee Hah MoFos!

That smell of exhaust, the whine of motorcycles and the heart thumping, sand digging, confederate flag flying 4×4 are all part of a weekend at Sand Lake State Park in Western Michigan. This place has more crackers than a box or Ritz.

It may not be an ideal trip of car camping and off roading, but you might be surprised how much fun it really is. A weekend outside, car camping requires as much organization as you care to give it. If every thing goes totally wrong, you can still hop into your car and leave. If it goes right, you’ll never want to leave.

As for Silver Lake, climbing a steep dune takes a little more skill then you think — as told by all of the trucks, Jeeps and homemade dune buggies seen backing back down the hill after failing attempt after attempt. Losers.

Hill No. 1 is the toughest. After that it’s all gravy. And the sights are fantastic — looking out over the blustery Lake Michigan.

As for the car camping, we stayed in Silver Lake State Park where we were crammed in with lots of yahoo beer swilling, mullet sporting, fist fight hustling, towing their off road pick up with their regular pickup driving, red necks. They were awesome, piles of beer cans aside. Personally, I would have liked to have a little more space than the 20×20 space — but in the morning as the world slept off their hangovers, I managed to walk along Lake Michigan through the birch tree as the sun rose over a few fishing boats scattered out on the still waters. It was perfect.

Really, everyone deserves or needs a weekend of camping along Lake Michigan. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor or just bored, it’s fun and its cheap. Jack tastes better when its sipped from the bottle and chased with some Coke out of a liter bottle over a roaring campfire stoked with white gasoline. It just does.

It’s not camping, it’s an experience and for $32 a night — it’s easy money. Pack four people in your Subaru and you’ve still got space for cases of beer, two tents, sleeping bags and some firewood.

If automotive mayhem isn’t your cup of tea, there are plenty of campsites along the way that may not have 50 rednecks per 100 square feet, but they still offer a fantastic time. Check out this site for campsite info.

Now go forth and camp.

HTG is actually on vacation: This story is from our best of files. It originally ran Sept. 29, 2009. 

Hey, I love my city. And if you come here, you should too. You may have a slight headache for a couple of days and hangovers get a little magnified because of the thinner air, but just muscle your way through it.

Denver rocks and if you don’t have enough to do with Part I or Part II of this series than it’s you, not me. But here are a few more things to consider if planning a trip to Denver.

7) Sports. If it involves a ball and overpaid steroid abusers this town has it. Baseball, football, hockey (the most fanatic fans are for the Avalance and tickets are sometimes dear) and basketball. You can also enjoy soccer, lacrosse and even rugby (nearby Glendale has an actual rugby stadium). Or just go to one of the many parks to watch the bikers, joggers, volleyballers, kickballers, and fishermen. Colorado is the thinnest state in the Union because people here exercise a lot and they like to do it where other people can see them do it.

Marijuana. Despite what you see and smell all over town, marijuana is not 100 percent legal. The city earned it’s Mile High name because of the altitude, that’s it, just its height above sea level.  After a 2005 referendum under an ounce is legal under city law, but state law still applies ($100 fine). A subsequent referendum made pot-busts the city’s “lowest enforcement priority” and there is a lot of tolerance but arrests are still made. (There is also a medical marijuana system that the state has kept its hands off of for now but the cards of other states are not recognized.)

If this is your thing you should already know how to score in a foreign city. If not don’t even try. This is not Amsterdam.

9) The Nightlife. Formerly a blasted wasteland of warehouses and dive bars, the lower downtown (LoDo) area is now so hip they set a season of the Real World there. Not sure what happened to MTVs intrepid reality stars, but this is Denver so cannibalism was probably involved. Anyway, this where most of the dance clubs are located. Not my area of expertise but there are enough venues that you should be able to find something to fit your groove. If not there are plenty of other clubs in town with burlesque, comedy and other entertainments to suit all but the most jaded palate. Or you can do what I do and just start walking, even if nothing else strikes your fance you will pass by a string of bars you can stop in and check out.

10) Look at stuff. Denver has a lot of old preserved buildings and nice architectural variety to look at while you wander around. There’s also a zoo, art and science museums, multiple theaters, a symphony and a ballet company for the cultured set. If that’s not your thing grab a seat at one of the ubiquitous restaurant patios and watch the world go past. If you prefer to stay in motion, horse drawn carriages and pedicabs can be found on the 16th Street Mall in the evenings and on weekends to take you around the city in style.

Editor’s note: Robert Mohl hates the zoo and the little kids who go there.