Time at the Flat Rock Speedway is as Americana as you can get. That smell of exhaust wafting over the stands, the foot stomping crowd getting the bleachers to echo aluminum thunder and that throat closing diesel spewing from eight school buses. The there are all of the fireworks attached to the roofs of some of these full-sized school buses that are doing laps in a a Figure 8 race.

Yes, Hipster Travel Guide is not above an evening of Figure 8 racing on a quarter mile track. In fact, it’s an annual event at Flat Rock and we go every year. The reason: It is frickin’ awesome.

The people watching alone is worth the price of admission and the $4 ice cold Buds just taste like summer in a plastic cup.

These races are serious and hysterical. The one 50 lap figure eight modified car race included one car dragging its muffler the entire race, while, during the grand finale, a school bus dragged its battery for all dozen laps. But there’s paint trading and full head on, into the wall kind of crashes.

But no one leaves the bus races unhappy — you just can’t.

Check out this video we’ve put together from the most recent night of Flat Rock debauchery.

And here are some more photos:

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Every package of Detroit Ruin Porn should include Detroit Central Station.

People come from around the world to take pictures of Detroit.

The city has been dying for generations and there are lots of rubberneckers riding around one of the largest cities in the US snapping off pics of the decay. It’s like going through the cancer ward at your local hospital and taking portraits.

It’s the latest craze: Ruin Porn. Snap a photo of some of the destruction and then talk to your friends about how awful things really are there. If people visit you in Detroit, you can also give them a guided tour of some of it — just leave the windows of your car rolled up — you wouldn’t want to breathe any of the city air without a filter.

Now the key to taking good Ruin Porn is to disregard all of the life and real culture in the city. Refuse to notice parts of the city that are vibrant and full of life. If there’s a building falling apart, snap it’s picture — it may not be around much longer.

Also, if you’re viewing ruin porn, disregard the car’s mirror in the picture, or the fact every photo is taken from street level.

Ruins can become art. Look at Egypt or Rome, those are full of ancient buildings that are, technically, abandoned. Though those buildings have fewer crack addicted squatters.

Check out some of the photos we took Saturday and what pics make good Ruin Porn and what pics don’t. All photos are by HTG and shot by Vikki Stenstream. Stunt driving, which included running a couple of lights because your car should act like a shark in Detroit, if you stop, you could die.

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Anyway: Welcome to the Gratiot Central Market. Inside this little market is a collection of butchers and meat dealers that offer the best deals and best meat in Michigan.

$8.95 for a pound of beef tenderloin (which when cut up creates Filet Mignon.) And that’s the pricey stuff. You can grab Prime Rib for a mere $6.95 per pound. Or pork chops, ribs and just about anything else that was once on an animal and will be on your plate. If God didn’t want you to eat it, he wouldn’t have made it so tasty.

Now everyone has a favorite in the building, as these vendors are all side by side. Our’s is RJ’s, which is all the way at the end on the right. The people behind the counter are helpful and will give you all of the advice you might need for a BBQ.

However, this is definitely a place that you can go broke saving money. There are lots of deals, and if you have a big freezer, you can certainly stock up for lazy day grilling on weekends.

If anything, RJ has taught us that Beef Tenderloin can be used for anything that requires beef. Tacos, salads, Philly Cheese steaks, all of them taste better if you’re using one of the finest cuts of meat known to man kind. (A typical tenderloin weighs about 7 pounds, and you have to buy the whole thing, so be prepared to shell out up to $60 for the loin, which RJ will cut for you.)

We’d also recommend the Center Cut Pork Chops, the bacon, the stewing beef, the Delmonicos and Ribeyes, as well as the flank steak and brats. Oh, and the hamburger is to die for — well, at least a cow died for us.

The only thing that can be difficult at the market when it’s busy is finding someone to start up your order. You have to be quick. There’s no number to take or any kind of line — just people shouting over the counter and other people taking orders. So speak up or go hungry.

Now if you’re visiting Detroit, you may not have a need for 10 pounds of meat, but there’s still plenty of good eats all around the market place. And there’s a real city feel to the market. It’s worth a stop, if just for the people watching.

The busiest times are Saturday from about 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. During the summer, well, it smells like a butcher’s shop, and that’s not all that great.

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Naturally, there are still places you can smoke in the Unemployment State, such as private homes and casinos, but for the most part, snuff out that butt or head outside for that cigarette. That means in Michigan’s urban areas, smokers will be forced to undergo harassment from homeless people and over exaggerated non smokers glares — so please practice these two phrases: “Sorry dude, I don’t have any change.” and “Yeah, yeah, I smoke. Fuck you.”

The state smoking ban joins a plethora of counties and cities around the nation as well, which have some sort of smoking ordinance that push smokers outside.

Non smokers rejoiced over the passing of the law after they spent years fag bashing, and now they think they’ve kicked some butt north and south of 8 Mile.

Smoking hipsters, indifferent to most laws, will just move out side, followed by a bunch of nonsmokers, who still know we’re just cooler than they are. After all, that’s why we started smoking in the first place.

Map from No Smoke.org. Check out their website to get the official non smoking propaganda.

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Case in point: for years the Henry Ford Museum & Greenfield Village in Dearborn, Michigan, has been an international attraction. The Greenfield Village is a recreation of the way life used to be, with such features as Thomas Edison’s laboratory, old-time stores, etc.

The Museum is filled with more examples of Americana than…well…America. There’s everything from the world’s largest locomotive to President Kennedy’s (last) limousine to old-fashioned printing presses to items so small you almost need a magnifying glass to see them.

Done right it’s truly a two-day (or more) attraction to see it all and soak it in.

Several years ago at what must have been a seminar of the American Proctology Association the decision was made to change the name from “Henry Ford Museum.” The board felt it needed a refreshing. Forget that the museum had decades of name recognition.

I’m sure one of the hemorrhoidal functionaries sitting at the table convinced the others that it wasn’t worth concerning anyone’s pretty little (dick) heads about it. So…after no doubt burning up three Cray SuperComputers the board of anal warts came up with the name “The Henry Ford.” Just about says it all, doesn’t it? But what does it say?

The Henry Ford WHAT? Just in Southeast Michigan we have the Henry Ford Hospital, Henry Ford Community College, Henry Ford Mansion and everything else you can think of with the name Henry Ford in front of it. Hell, there’s probably Henry Ford condoms.

Granted, there’s little chance of seeing a Henry Ford Synagogue but everything else is fair game. So why in THE hell would a group of Intellectual Thugs decide to rename a perfect moniker to something Albert “Cubby” Einstein couldn’t interpret? I thought my brother was a stupid son-of-a-bitch but the toilet fish that authorized the name change has stolen my brother’s legacy.

Given the power to do so, this rectum wannabee would probably change the name of Dairy Queen to “Dairy,” The Museum of Science and Industry to “The Museum,” the Washington Monument to “Washington” and the Eifel Tower to “The Eifel.”

You get the picture, but why stop there? Why not change the name of the aforementioned Henry Ford Hospital to “The Henry Ford”; or Henry Ford Community College to “The Henry Ford”; or the Henry Ford Mansion at Fair Lane to “The Henry Ford?” Pardon my French but anyone who had anything to do with the decision should be labeled Le Bag Douché.

On radio commercials and other promotional pieces they’re almost always directed to “The Henry Ford Museum.” What’s that all about? I thought the Circle of Jerks changed the name to separate it from making sense?

I’m sure there are other examples throughout the travel world of similar cranial eruptions – especially if the boss comes up with the idea. Certainly lends credence to the old adage of “Opinions and assholes…every board of directors has one.”

You can meet Al at The Henry Ford Tuesdays and Thursdays where he he is lecturing about traveling through time. Or you can read him here every Monday.

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It’s even put together a series of ads to try and lure people here from other states such as Ohio and Canada. But the problem, recently, has been the Pure Michigan campaign didn’t have any money to run the ads. Apparently, those ads cost money and while Michigan may be flush with water, it’s a little light on cash — and no one wants to run its nostalgic ads for free.

Now it’s got a few bucks, thanks to some last minute action by the Michigan legislative branch and its getting a little love from the Michigan Lodging and Tourism Association.

“Combined with recent Senate action, today’s House vote moves the ball further down field and we appreciate the leadership both chambers have shown,” said Steve Yencich, President/CEO. “But the clock is ticking closer to March 25th when the opportunity to promote the summer season nationwide will be lost. It’s important to forge bipartisan agreement to provide short and long term funding for Pure Michigan. We look forward to working with the Governor, Senate and House leadership towards that end.”

Well, get to work then.

Here are a couple of the Pure Michigan campaign.

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But in 2008, DTW spent millions to build a new one and the changes are drastic and impressive.

Now, Continental announced it wants to move in, packing up its location at the Delta terminal (formeraly known as the Northwest terminal and currently known as the McNamara) and unloading boxes in the new north terminal.

“We are eager to welcome Continental Airlines’ customers to our new, state-of-the-art North Terminal,” said Wayne County Airport Authority (WCAA) CEO Lester Robinson. “Not only will Continental’s new Detroit home be closer to that of its new alliance partners, but Continental customers will enjoy the convenience and customer-friendly features of our award-winning North Terminal facility.”

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That’s probably what Robert Frost meant when chewed through that road less traveled with 40-inch mudders.

There’s still a month left of sand spitting fun in Western Michigan, but it’s not a trip for the light at heart. Behind the wheel of a 2009 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon, there was pretty much nothing my stock vehicle couldn’t do that many customized jeeps, handmade dune buggies and the swarm of buzzing quads couldn’t do. Of course, most of those drivers froze in the rain, while I turned the heat on high, turned on the stereo and blasted through hood high water. Yeeeee Hah MoFos!

That smell of exhaust, the whine of motorcycles and the heart thumping, sand digging, confederate flag flying 4×4 are all part of a weekend at Sand Lake State Park in Western Michigan. This place has more crackers than a box or Ritz.

It may not be an ideal trip of car camping and off roading, but you might be surprised how much fun it really is. A weekend outside, car camping requires as much organization as you care to give it. If every thing goes totally wrong, you can still hop into your car and leave. If it goes right, you’ll never want to leave.

As for Silver Lake, climbing a steep dune takes a little more skill then you think — as told by all of the trucks, Jeeps and homemade dune buggies seen backing back down the hill after failing attempt after attempt. Losers.

Hill No. 1 is the toughest. After that it’s all gravy. And the sights are fantastic — looking out over the blustery Lake Michigan.

As for the car camping, we stayed in Silver Lake State Park where we were crammed in with lots of yahoo beer swilling, mullet sporting, fist fight hustling, towing their off road pick up with their regular pickup driving, red necks. They were awesome, piles of beer cans aside. Personally, I would have liked to have a little more space than the 20×20 space — but in the morning as the world slept off their hangovers, I managed to walk along Lake Michigan through the birch tree as the sun rose over a few fishing boats scattered out on the still waters. It was perfect.

Really, everyone deserves or needs a weekend of camping along Lake Michigan. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor or just bored, it’s fun and its cheap. Jack tastes better when its sipped from the bottle and chased with some Coke out of a liter bottle over a roaring campfire stoked with white gasoline. It just does.

It’s not camping, it’s an experience and for $32 a night — it’s easy money. Pack four people in your Subaru and you’ve still got space for cases of beer, two tents, sleeping bags and some firewood.

If automotive mayhem isn’t your cup of tea, there are plenty of campsites along the way that may not have 50 rednecks per 100 square feet, but they still offer a fantastic time. Check out this site for campsite info.

Now go forth and camp.

Check out our story Friday on the best car camping equipment.

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More fun at the fair.

Michigan’s greatest collection of mullets and stretchy pants will end this year. The state fair will cease to exist after today.

But oh, the memories of giant cows, dwarf goats and Seabiscuit on a cracker (that little horse that could actually won its first race in Detroit). There’s something for everyone at the State Fair — it doesn’t really matter which state you’re talking about either. If you haven’t been to one, go, go, go.

There are the rides that go round and round, the games of skill such as the ring and the bottle or the pressurized water gun and the clown’s mouth and then there’s the food. Much like those animals in the Swine Hall, fairgoers spend most of their time feeding at the deep fried trough of fun. Sausage and peppers, elephant ears, funnel cakes, lemonade, beer, and anything that can be skewered on a stick.

Fun for everyone.

Then there’s the people watching. The thick slice of Americana, very thick slice. Fairs come with all types.

The sophisticated, the young, and the group with lot numbers in their address.

Sadly, for Michigan, today marks the end of a 160 year run. This year, it’s the oldest running state fair in the country. Next year, some other state will hold that honor.

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A few miles outside of Ann Arbor, Hell could make a decent day trip, as long as you plan to spend about 30 minutes in Hell. After that, it only gets tedious — which for any hipster traveler, is really Hell

There’s the ice Scream shop and the Dammed Site Cafe, but really, Hell is so small, there’s not even a traffic light. No one stays in Hell, they just pass through — maybe when the good people of Hell decided to name it, they should have picked something more accurate such as Purgatory.

A local haunt for bikers, Hell has the charm of a day old carnival without the bearded woman and tattooed man — or just a few Cracker Carnies. This is the kind of place you may want to drive to, take a photo for your Facebook page and then go somewhere else for a martini. (OK, there is something to providing a status update of “heading to Hell — if I don’t change my ways.” Maybe then, someone will comment on it.

But if you’re expecting to find much in Hell, you’ll be sorely disappointed. There are two gift shops, a diner, a post office substation (so you can have something mailed with a Hell postmark) and a stream. The U.S. national weather service has an official thermometer there for obvious reasons: It can then report when Hell Freezes over.

There is no real history, other than people thought the name could draw tourists — which it does. But the only irony to a trip to Hell provides are a few bumper stickers and a memory you’ll soon forget.

Resources:

Wikipedia on Hell
Where is it?

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