Freddie Gibbs thought he’d be able to put his dope in his checked bag. But the TSA found the grass and thought it would be a good idea to let him off with a note, which simply said, “C’mon Son.”

Gibbs tweeted the incident after he landed, saying, “The TSA found my weed and let me keep it.”

Naturally, no good deed will go unpunished, as the TSA will likely launch an investigation in hopes of firing the agent who showed that common sense is better than a lot of paperwork.

Now, it’s gotten even better. The new 737 Max will increase fuel efficiency and decrease CO2 burns by at least 10 percent and Southwest Airlines will the first to be flying this big birds, which feature lots of technology and modern day comforts.

“Today’s environment demands that we become more fuel-efficient and environmentally friendly, and as the launch Customer of the Boeing 737 MAX, we have accomplished both,” said Gary Kelly, Southwest Airlines Chairman, President, and CEO in a press release. “We are teaming up with our friends from Boeing to lead the industry in a way that makes both our Shareholders and our Customers proud to associate with Southwest Airlines. Today’s announcement will allow us to maintain our position as a low-cost provider in the years ahead.”

Bacteria Flies Free

Sometimes when I eat airline food, I think I’m going to die. Of course, I’ve never have, I’ve only wanted to after I ate it.

I try to steer clear of rubber chicken dinners in any type of banquet, wedding or airline setting, but one person who didn’t is Othon Cortes. Cortes and his family flew earlier this year on American Airlines out of Barcelona, Spain. While on the international flight home, he gobbled down a chicken dinner and enjoyed the rest of his flight back to the USA.

He landed in New York’s JFK airport, and suddenly became pale, had sharp stomach pains and became thirsty. He didn’t seek medical help and got on board the plane to Miami to get home. In flight, Cortes became nauseous, short of breath and eventually suffered a heart attack and died.

His widow is suing American Airlines and the food service company Sky Chefs for having caused the death of her husband by serving tainted food and not stopping them from boarding the plane to Miami when her husband was so obviously sick. She claims her husband died from food poisoning, resulting from the food having been contaminated with Clostridium perfringens bacteria.

Proving that Cortes got the food poisoning from the rubber chicken dinner when no one else on the flight got sick is going to be difficult, but hey, when did that ever stop anyone from suing a big corporation?

(Black Monday is the day people go to work, still doped up on tryptophan, go online and buy more crap.)

We mention the Southwest deals only because, well, they’re pretty good. Southwest is offering flights and 50 percent off hotel stays at the MGM — a massive Vegas hotel that we’ve stayed at and is pretty nice. Note, travel is limited between now and the end of January.

There are also deals from Southwest with up to 50 percent off on flights and hotel deals to Reno and Panama City. Why Southwest picked those particular cities we’re still not sure, but a deal is a deal and in the rush to buy, we say, why not?

That’s another reason to like Travelzoo.com — which sent out this note for all those people in Louisville who need some beachy weather down in Fort Lauderdale. Fares are down to $59 each way from those cities. While this fair is not advertized, it’s still up if you want it. Travel dates are from Nov. 29 – Jan. 17 and
saves as much as $150 on the usual cost of this route, according to Travelzoo.

Click below to book using Fly.com’s Low Fare Calendar.
http://www.travelzoo.com/newsflash/78331253-1140882/

What’s required? Nothing out of this world.

Just a bachelor’s degree in Engineering, Mathematics or Biological or Physical Science and at least three years of related, progressively responsible work experience. I actually know way too many people who could qualify to be an astronaut.

No research experience? No problem. Just get a pilot license and bank 1,000 pilot-in-command hours and you can nix any research requirements.

Of course, there are some health requirements. The applicant also needs to have 20/20 vision (or correctable to 20/20 vision), blood pressure not above 140/90 in a sitting position, and be no shorter than 62 inches but no taller than 75 inches.

You’ve also got to be willing to be open to learning. Russian and possibly other languages. If you don’t remember, the USA no longer has the Space Shuttle program, so if hired, you’d be taking a Russian rocket to the Space Station for your six month stay. Who knows when the US will have reliable rocket ships provided by Richard Branson?

Want to sign up? Go to USAJobs.gov and be prepared to spend about 3 days filling in the applications. It’s repetitive and you’ll be cursing all the way through the process. It’s the government and as with anything with the government, it’s a ridiculous amount of paperwork to fill out to just be considered.

But, hey why not try if you can meet the basic requirements. Just imagine looking down on all of Earth and thinking of all the little people.

Don't you?

The TSA’s name should have warned everyone. Transportation Safety Administration. Everyone thought it was just airports, but transportation applies to any form of movement. And now, the TSA is showing some states how safety is administered.

On Tuesday, Tennessee DOT and TSA began working together under the Visible Intermodal Prevention and Response, known as VIPR, program. VIPR assumes that if you’re moving, you’re obviously a terrorist. It doesn’t matter if travel is by plane, train, automobile or broomstick. On this particular day, check points were set up at Tennessee weigh stations in an effort to “maintain traffic security” on interstate highways.

The check points allowed, under the guise of protection from terrorism, the TSA, Tennessee DOT and various Tennessee police departments, both state and local, to search trucks and harass drivers for no other reason other than “because we can”. No mention of any violation of the Fourth Amendment, this done completely for the safety of all Americans.

Bomb and drug sniffing dogs were put to work searching the targeted trucks. What? Drug sniffing dogs? How many terrorists are planning dumping a load of extacy into the water supply?

Truckers, the ones violated and those not, are being asked by the TSA to join the First Observer Highway Security Program. This is a program where truckers are being asked to report to VIPR all the suspicious people they see on the highway, rest areas or truck stops across the nation.

Americans ratting out each other will only strengthen our safety.

So, it’s time to do your part. Just keep your eyes peeled. See someone talking on their phone in the car? Call VIPR and report it. It’s obvious that that person is plotting to wage Jihad against us all.

fly.

Airlines say if they don’t charge all of these different fees then they would never make any money — poor guys. But as you can see, the fees vary wildly in just about any category.

Really, it kind of blows your mind when you see how much things may cost you and where carriers think they can make a buck. Naturally, Spirit Airlines has some of the silliest, such as the carry on luggage fee, and US Airways will charge a frequent flier $90 to book a “free” ticket. People pay these fees because they have to. And learning all of the things they charge you for only makes you a little more pissed.

Click here to see the entire chart and set up. It’s an impressive bunch — and costly too. Thanks USA Today.

Churning in the Caribbean, Hurricane Irene is getting ready to start strafing the Eastern Seaboard from Florida to New York City over the next week.

While the wise folks at the National Hurricane Center expect Irene to keep her distance and avoid actual landfall, this big hurricane could start causing plane delays at major airports from Miami to Newark because its high winds and rain will reach US shores. Coastal cities should expect some rough weather in the coming days as Irene glides along the coast. (Already some places in North Carolina have begun evacuating people.)

Even New York City is preparing for the storm — which typically way too far north for such tropical doom.

Warmer waters have been blamed for Irene reaching so far north.

So what’s in it for you?

No more waiting: If you’re on an international flight — you won’t have to sit on the tarmac for more than four hours anymore. (Well, you could, but if you do, the airline faces a fine of $27,500 per passenger fine. While you won’t see any of that money, airlines are much more likely to open up a gate and let you stretch your legs instead sit on a plane.)

No more lost bags: Ha. Who are you we kidding. Bags are still going to get lost. But now, if the airline loses your bag, they have to give back the money collected to ship it. Seems fair enough. Then again, if your bag is eventually returned, the airline is free and clear. No word yet if the airline will pay you full value for the gold bullion you were packing.

That ticket costs what?: Airlines now have to disclose all of those fees you’re charged for your ticket. This will certainly help explain how a $9 ticket costs $120 and how all of those fees work. From a consumer standpoint, it’s frustrating to click on the $400 ticket from New York to Germany and then see it actually costs $1,400 because of all of those pesky taxes, fees and whatnot. Now, we get to know what that whatnot includes.

Double down on compensation: People getting bumped from flights will now be able to collect up to $1300 if they are delayed more than two hours. The previous amount was $650 or twice the ticket value. (Now it’s four times the ticket value.) Of course, that’s assuming the ticket only costs $325, which is tough to come by nowadays to just about anywhere. And if you’re not sure how much your ticket actually costs, go back and check out the previous rule.

More rules are pending and eventually, those will go into effect. Airline officials says that most of the rules could lead to higher ticket prices. Then again, prices were always going up, no matter what rules are in place. (Just look at the fuel surcharge hitting passengers, when fuel has been going down.)